Road Trip

I just got back from a road trip with my cousin, Eric, from Chicago to here in SoCal. It was long and beautiful, cold and uncomfortable (I swear that the seats in his Saturn were once used as a Chinese torture method). But through the various discussions we had, the time away from my family of whom I can't express how much I missed, and spending countless, barely-conscious hours in middle-of-nowhere America I was able to reconcile some things with God. I've been on a very arduous journey with my Heavenly Father, and it has been frustrating. Mainly, I've been questioning a lot of things I use to take for granted and asking God for some answers. I believe I have reached a great length in my faith through this process, and God has given me peace in a lot of ways. The most outstanding of which, is through a passage I came across in Psalms. It has become my favorite Psalm. David writes in Psalm 77:
I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;let me meditate in my heart.”
Then my spirit made a diligent search: “Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Then I said, “I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
Then David proceeds to talk about the history of God's faithfulness.
The reson this passage has become so enlightening to me is because David is questioning God. I use to be afraid of asking some of these questions and thought that if I did, I would no longer be a person of faith. However, I have learned that questioning God often takes more faith than just taking things at face value. The Lord continually challenges us to seek Him out. I believe that our lives are a great search for God. David made a diligent search, and most of the psalms reflect this journey.
Ultimately, if we choose to be completely honest and open with ourselves, God and others around us we will begin to experience God and His truth in a much more powerful way. Shying away from these questions is destructive and leads nowhere. Every greeat figure in scripture had to embrace the journey of the unknown; Abraham, Moses, Elisha, Paul, the Apostles, Ruth, Mary and Joseph. We are shown that the answers to our questions come through experiencing the faithfulness of God in our most vulnerable state.
It is a scary thing to be completely open with God and asking difficult questions, but that is really the beginning of faith. I don't know where this road trip will end, but I sure am enjoying the ride.